Coming soon…The Tortoise and the Hare

You are cordially invited to join in the second annual race to benefit NAME. Last year it was ducks. May of 2016 shall bring, drum roll please……..tortoises and hares!

Yes, you heard it here first. On May 14, 2016, families of tortoises and droves of hares will embark on a journey never witnessed before as they race for the finish line and lots of great gifts and prizes.

Now for the twist. There will be two categories of prizes, and various ways to win. What fun! You can (and are highly encouraged to!) purchase hares from the hare category and/or tortoises from the tortoise division. The hare category is pretty straight forward: the fastest hares win. After all, this is a race! The slowest, lamest, laziest hare will win a prize too, though. So either hop very fast, or be the last hare to cross the finish line. Sleeping permitted, if you are aiming for the dubious honor of last place. 

Now for the tortoises. After hearing people say “I never win anything” or “I always finish last”, I have just the game of chance for you. In the tortoise division, please try to lose. Yes, you heard me correctly. I want you to dilly dally and lollygag your way, slowly, to the finish line. The last tortoises to finish are the biggest losers, which is the ultimate goal. And for the single most rebellious speedy tortoise who has the nerve to cross the line first or fastest, you get a little something special, too.

So, to sum it up, encourage your hares to either race full throttle, or come in last. Cheer on your tortoises to be slow as molasses, or somehow break a land, tortoise speed record and come in first. There are four different methods to snag some loot!

You will get a gift for purchasing a racer, or hopefully, racers, for $25 each. Buy two hares and two tortoises, for example, and you will end up with four gifts. See how simple it is? I don’t have exact prizes or numbers of prizes per division yet, but I anticipate them being similar to last year. For those who haven’t raced before, participants will be drawn via a computer generated program that displays hares and tortoises in the order selected from one to infinity. If you fall in any of the winning subdivisions, I will contact you in order chosen to pick your winnings. This continues until all offerings are depleted.


Tortoises. Hares. Winners. Losers. Go fast. Go slow. I know, it’s a lot to take in. So, if I have thoroughly confused you, just email me, Kim Wood, at and I will answer all your questions.

Let the excitement and training begin!

Download the order form here.

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